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Being Loved And Being Liked

There is a distance between people knowing they are loved and knowing they are liked.  It seems to me that there has always been a great desire for man to feel both loved and liked, but in Christian circles we are taught that we have to love.  Its not a choice…we just love.  We love our God and we love people.  However, even though we are supposed to love people we don’t always like them.

That’s the interesting part.  If we buy into the notion that you can “love something” but not really “like it” then what does that say about our God who is the example of love? What does that say about real love?  Is love just an emotion of tolerance?  So many Christians equate God’s love with their own view of love that it starts to beg the question in their heart “If God loves me like I love people, then does God even like me?”  We have created categories that allow us to fulfill our duties to God, and still keep some form of personal preference and identity.  In reality, we are only doing the latter.

It’s so ironic to me that we have unknowingly put so much emphasis on winning God’s approval when we have had it all along.  God’s delight (or the capacity of His love and fondness of us) is not based on “sacrifices” or things we achieve (Psalm 51:16).  It is simply based on the fact that He loves us, and He likes us.  There is no difference to Him, that’s it.

We are great at saying that we “love people” but then avoid them because of some personality flaw.  We justify our actions by saying “I love them in Jesus name…but they need to get saved,” like its an excuse for us to not like them.  ”I have to love that guy, but he is so self centered, I don’t like him.”  Is that even possible?  God is our example, and if He has the capacity to love us completely and like us too then we should have that capacity as well.  God likes your quirky little laugh, and your crooked nose.  He likes your strange feet, and He even likes how you have to brush your teeth twice every night before bed.  He likes that you still have areas to grow in humility, and He delights in the fact that your love is immature, but real nonetheless.

So stop feeling like every time you mess up in your Christian walk or don’t live up to an expectation you have to spend 6 hours in probation before He forgets about what happened.  God doesn’t just love you because He made a covenant that He had to…He really, really, really likes you.  So remember, you aren’s just loved by God, you are liked by God too.

READ : Psalm 57: 2 | Psalm 51:16-17 | Psalm 34 | Psalm 36:7-9

Leading From Your Title vs Leading From Your Heart

I am a pastor.  I have been a pastor for the past 10 years at the same church, faithfully serving in whatever area needed me.  Being a pastor consumes my entire life, in that I am never really off the clock.  It is what I have wanted to do since I gave my heart to Jesus.  I love it.  The funny thing is, when I meet new people I make a special point to leave out the fact that I am a pastor.  Unless specifically asked what I do, I don’t even mention my line of work.  I have no problem sharing Jesus’ love or even the fact that I go to church but to me, being a Pastor, although an honor, is a huge stumbling block for most people.

I was in a discussion recently with an older pastor who had been in the ministry for many, many years.  In the conversation about meeting new visitors at church, he found it odd that I never introduce myself as a pastor at the church.  He couldn’t understand.  I explained to him that when I extend my hand to a new visitor, or even someone in public and introduce myself as “Hi, I’m Pastor Marshall” an immediate wall goes up.

For some people meeting a pastor is frightening, they feel like all we do is judge people for their decisions.  Like we want a lengthy explanation on why they haven’t been to church.  Or we are just looking for an opportunity to fix their life choices.

For other people, meeting a pastor is a horrible experience.  Maybe they have been hurt by a pastor, or they knew of one who molested a kid.  Their entire view of clergy is based on disappointment and heartache.

There are also people who think meeting a pastor is the best thing that can happen to them.  They want to take advantage of the relationship, use the church to advertise their personal business or ministry.  Meeting a pastor is just the ticket they need to make themselves feel validated.

There was a time when the office of a pastor was widely respected.  It still is by some people, but for most it’s a punchline to a joke.  People have been let down, abused, or heard about scandals so much that when I share my title it only hinders me from building a true relationship, and that is what I am really after.  As a pastor, I only want to build relationships with people to help them along as they grow spiritually.

Let’s say you visit my church and I introduce myself as “Hi, I’m Marshall.”  We have a great conversation about the church or whatever, and later you find out that I’m a pastor.  I have just showed you that having a relationship is more important than some authority structure.  I have shattered your way of thinking about guys who use a title to control groups of people and communicated the importance of a relationship.  Which is part of a bigger picture.  Most people strive for a title because they think that a title carries authority…and sometimes it does.  However if you choose to lead from your heart, which is God given, as opposed to a title, which is man given, you will always see greater results.  The title “pastor” on my business card doesn’t make me a pastor…the fact that I want relationships with people so that I can influence them to grow in God is what makes me a pastor.

So if you are in a position of authority, try introducing yourself as a person instead of a title and watch how much farther the relationship goes.

Perspective

Having the right perspective is critical to a Christian seeing things the right way.  If I stand behind a door it is easy for me to assume that there is nothing on the other side.  It is only when I change my position and open the door that I can have a proper perspective and see what is really on the other side of the door.

The Christian walk is the exact same thing.  In every situation, every relationship, and every conversation with God we must have proper perspective to see clearly.  King David is a great example of this.  Every time David had the opportunity to take offense at something Saul did, David simply fell back on his love of God and knew that Saul would be dealt with (see 1 Samuel 22 / Psalm 52).  When writing about situations in his life, David only name God.  He didn’t named Saul, or Doeg, or any person that did him wrong or stepped out of line.  David always had the proper perspective on where his attention should be.

Abraham Heschel said, “We should know what we see rather than see what we know.”  I think that means that it is really easy to only see within our own life’s experiences.  But the real visionaries and leaders see things from every angle and perspective possible.

Mike Bickle on “What The Church Will Look Like In 20 Years”

Mike Bickle
International House Of Prayer
Charisma Magazine Article

Today’s church leaders are moving in two different directions that will become more solidified by 2010.

Among the first group are those who have set their hearts to live deeply connected to Jesus and who are committed to full obedience in a fasted lifestyle. They will prayerfully devour the Word of God and encounter the Spirit’s power in different ways. They’ll reach out in justice with compassion to bring God’s love to people and to transform society. They’ll call people to love Jesus on God’s terms as they faithfully proclaim the whole counsel of God (including its “unpopular” aspects). As they impart these values to others, they will raise up praying churches that will be small-group based and have varying expressions of meeting and ministry style (both within and outside the church). Such groups will regularly experience God’s presence together with a spirit of prayer and prophecy. As they faithfully speak out in ways true to Scripture but unpopular to the masses, they’ll be ridiculed more and more by mainstream religion and media.

Within the second group are those seeking to grow their ministries by promising people ease, comfort and pleasure. Their present dullness and man-pleasing spirit will escalate into a much bolder distancing from the foundational principles of the Word. These leaders will also be involved in many outreaches and service-oriented works, even as they label the first group as fanatics. Both groups will function under the banner of Christianity and will aggressively reach out to others, yet they will do it with a very different spirit and message.